How Can I Trust Myself?
- Do you have any other indications of being in an episode? There might be a possibility that your decision-making skills are impaired. Think back to how you’ve been thinking and feeling over the past few days and weeks.
- Do you have someone you can talk to about this decision? If you feel really overwhelmed and you can’t tell if this is you or your bipolar talking, ask a trusted loved one for their opinion.
How I Overcame My Distrust to Make a Big Decision
When it came to buying a car, I had nothing but doubts. I knew I was in some kind of low-level hypomanic episode, which I hadn’t been able to shake for months, and I knew that I didn’t know anything about buying cars.
I test drove the car, I looked over it, and checked for the completely non-essential things I want in a car (nice color, ability to play music through my phone, spacious trunk). After I decided I really liked it, I got the history report and looked through it for anything suspicious.
I messaged a mechanic friend the information. The car was in good working condition and there was nothing for me to be concerned about.
Then I got the numbers for financing and went through the lengthy process of giving all of my information and waiting to get approval from the bank. I got a worksheet with a payment plan and a breakdown of just how much I would be spending and for how long.
I took this to a friend’s partner who was knowledgeable about money and loans. He looked over it and informed me of how much interest was on this car and how much I would end up paying in the end — both were astronomically high.
With this information in hand, I made the decision to wait until I was in a better financial position to buy a different car.
Although I’m not thrilled with the weird and random problems my current car keeps putting me though, making the decision to buy this car now would only lead to far more problems in the future.
Trusting Yourself Is Difficult
Whenever you are faced with a decision, take a step back. Making decisions when your brain has been proven to be unreliable is difficult because you don’t know if you can trust yourself.
Don’t allow your mental illness to make you think you’re too unreliable to be trusted. If you do make a bad decision, know that this is not unique to people with bipolar disorder and everyone, at some point in their lives, has made a bad decision.
All you can do is take a deep breath, evaluate where you are, and trust in yourself and your support system. You won’t always be right, but life isn’t perfect and no one should expect it to be.
