Jane began writing at the young age of 11. Writing came easy to her. It was something that she felt compelled to do.
As she looks back, she realizes that it was perhaps a way of dealing with strong emotions that she felt no one would understand or validate. She was fearful of being judged and misunderstood. Writing them down seemed to help. Most of her writing was done during sad times and deep heartache.
It is no surprise to her that at the age of 11, her first painful memory, was watching my dad suffering from what was called depression. It scared her. It saddened her. It confused her. Jane’s heart ached for her dad. Watching her mother go from empathy to anger was upsetting to say the least. How could her mother not understand? To her, it was one of the worse things that could happen to someone.
It was at then at the age of 45 when that worst thing happened to her. She was hospitalized with her first major clinical depression and she had the stark realization that she had inherited her father’s illness.
Jane went on to experience three more major clinical depressions and hospitalizations. It took many years before a doctor told her that he was sure she had bipolar disorder type 2. She finally understood why she had such crazy moods swings. She was either joyous or sad. There was no middle ground. Mostly, she felt all alone.
It has been only recently that Jane realized that she could no longer feel right about keeping all of this writing secretive. Reading about other people’s experiences has helped Jane so much through her own struggles. It is now her motivation to share these experiences with people who are currently suffering or experiencing the same illness. Jane learned at a young age to keep secrets. It is now the time to share the pain and the heartache along with the strength and knowledge that she has gained. No more secrets.
Jane’s purpose at this age is to share her experiences, strength and hope to those that still suffer along with helping their significant others to better understand more thoroughly what their loved ones are experiencing, and how they can offer loving support.
Jane has learned how to help herself through the dark places and believes now is the time to help others.